STAY(FARAWAY, SO CLOSE!)

<U2 please don't sue me for copyright infringement. I love you guys okay! But I just can't get the lyrics of Stay(Faraway, So Close!) out of my head.>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3178rqDthc&feature=related

I was at work and bored out of my skull. Nicked a newspaper off a friend's table to read. There was an article about how lonely life really is in big, crowded cities. That got me thinking of the U2 song. Well, what do you expect, my blog is after all called 'wanderingthots' and not 'awell-plannedthesis'.
****disclaimer: This isn't a sermon. I hate ceramah okay. It's just my wandering thots.

Green light, seven eleven
You stop in for a pack of cigarettes
You don’t smoke, don’t even want to

It's a big busy city and everyone is busy doing something. What if you have no particular destination to reach and no goals to achieve? Walk into a 24 hour store and buy a pack of cigarettes even though you don't smoke. Just to go somewhere and do something. Aiyoh, pathetic beyond words! Am glad I've never reached that level. Oh! And God forbid that I do.

You say when he hits you, you don’t mind
Because when he hurts you, you feel alive
Oh, now, Is that what it is?

It's a big busy city. Everyone is with somebody. How could you have nobody? Go find someone. And if you find someone stay with them even though they'll give Hannibal Lecter a run for his money.

And if you look, you look through me
And if you talk it’s not to me
And when I touch you, you don’t feel a thing

A friend of mine tweeted something about the pointlessness of pining for an emotionally unavailable person. What she tweeted reminded me of those 3 lines above. Oprah once said that when you have an empty space somewhere in you, you try to fill it in whatever way you can. With food. With gadgets. With naughty thoughts of handsome comedians. (Erm, well, just one! LOL. But that's harmless. Wink.)

Eckhardt Tolle wrote about love vs ownership in A New Earth. You can't really own the people or things you love. Well, not entirely anyway. Like whoosh, hurricane! Hurricanes don't understand the concept of legal ownership. Hurricanes will blow you (body and soul), your properties and all your legal documents away in a split second.

People aren't possessions anyway. They change their minds all the time, even though people often say (when they're fed up with someone lah) that a leopard can't change its spots. They get preoccupied with their own thoughts and problems and moods. One minute they walk into your life and it's like rays of sunshine. But that's the point, isn't it? People walk in and out of your life all the time.

If you make someone your space filler, the problem is that you're the one with the empty space. Not them. Even if they felt the same emptiness, they may not make YOU their space filler. Maybe when they have a void, they eat. Or buy expensive cars. 

If you met someone who was a total prick, who did something to ruin your life, who borrowed your money and can't be bothered to pay you back...that's someone worth hating. But if you hated somebody because you had a void in your heart that they couldn't possibly fill, they don't really deserve your poison arrows,do they? Coz the worst thing that they did was to make you like them, and they didn't do it to mislead you or anything. I mean if there a was sign saying "BEWARE I AM MAKING YOU MY SPACE FILLER. ENTER ONLY IF YOU AGREE TO BECOME THE OBJECT OF MY OBSESSION"....and they walked in anyway, that would be a different story.

If I could stay.. then the night would give you up
Stay then the day would keep it’s trust
Stay with the demons you drown
Stay with the spirit I found
Stay and the night would be enough

Those lines are so beautiful and yet so creepy. Imagine if somebody made you their reason for living. It's flattering to have an admirer but this is just trauma-inducing...LOL

Three o’clock in the morning
It’s quiet and there’s no one around
Just the bang and the clatter
As an angel runs to the ground
Just the bang and the clatter
As an angel hits the ground

The problem of reaching angel or idol status is you can end up being a fallen one. Off the pedestal you go! Take off your wings! Aiyoh, tragic. Just because you broke a heart you didn't know was so easily breakable ;)

************Alas! It's 5.00pm and it's time to get off my ample backside and go jogging. My thots have wandered enough and it's time for legs to get moving again. Groannnn...***********

PS: need to leave on a happy note. Ergo, here's a peek at Handsome Comedian. LOL

Memang Lawak La Der!

The downside of having a well-read but opinionated dad is that you grow up being critical of everything. I have to admit that I inherited my flair (well, I think I have that!) for language and teaching (albeit waning) from him. But as I grew older (yucks) I realized that being critical of everything makes life a total bore. My dad can't watch a tv show or read a newspaper article without being disgusted by something.

Dad's biggest poison arrow is reserved for one particular politician. But we won't talk about He-Who-Causes-Great-Agitation-in-Some-Circles tonight. We'll talk about his other pet hate. Malaysian comedians. ROTFL. He thinks they're all stupid. Well, as a child, so did I. Because he said so!

Then my renegade brothers came into the world. The three youngest boys have very short attention spans. And selective hearing. Somehow, they acquired the skill of listening only to things that they want to hear. They have never absorbed any of my dad's opinions, because when he was talking they were too busy wrestling each other to the ground. Ignorance is bliss! And boy did these boys have a blissful childhood.

Anyway, getting back to the topic of local comedians, it was my bros who got me started watching Super Spontan. As an adult, I have become less and less judgmental. But old mindsets die hard.

Go take a peek at Super Spontan:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZxYDs9RNQg

Lawak Ke Der at Istana Budaya Part 1:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=296MBeGGnZk

Lawak Ke Der at Istana Budaya Part 2:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFQmfPkZJZg&feature=related

After a miserable day at work, I just wanted to vegetate in front of the idiot box. When Bro#4 changed the channel to Astro Warna, I started thinking "Great, just what I need, watching another bunch of clowns". But you know what? Those Raja Lawak guys made me laugh so hard I forgot that I'd just been through one of the worst episodes of my life. I hadn't laughed that hard since...come to think of it, I don't think I'd ever laughed that hard before. So! Now I declare myself a reformed Semi-Cultural Snob. (I was never as bad as those wanks who swear they only watch  Les Miserable or other miserable hoity-toity stuff).

Today I made the mistake of watching Mega Lawak 2012 on Astro Box Office Events while eating lunch. Big, big mistake. The minute Jozan appeared, the rice came bursting out of my mouth. Those guys are just damn hilarious! I'm glad I was watching it alone coz that was not a pretty sight.

There's a lesson to be learnt here. Well, two actually. First, don't be a Cultural Snob. Coz laughter really is the best medicine, and if you're too snobby, you can't laugh. Second, never try to watch Jozan while your  mouth is full of rice. Unless you like to spurt nasi kandar all over your living room lah.

My PVR is full of Astro Warna stuff. You politicians can have debates or Pertandingan Berbalas Pantun all day for all I care. My vote is for Jozan. Hah!

me? blog?

It's the fifth day of Raya and I'm really tired. My kids came yesterday and it was so lovely to see them again. There's this song in Sound of Music which goes 'somewhere in my childhood...i must have done something good"...well, something like that :). Sometime somewhere I must have done something right for you guys to keep coming back to see me after all these years.

I love you guys more than words can express. Teaching is the only long-term job I've ever had (three-month stints don't count). I had a truly lousy lecturer once but there was one useful thing he said (the ONLY useful thing): "If you're meant to teach, that's what you'll end up doing, no matter how far you run". I do believe that coz I have colleagues who were once engineers, accountants and shrinks(!) who left well-paying positions to become cikgus.

I can honestly say that I am not devoid of qualities that make one a truly rotten person...but as a teacher I must be pretty okay coz my dinos love me and I love them back...hahaha.

However, I'm blogging not to wax lyrical about teaching but because it's Raya and some old folks have come to visit my folks. Thanks to wifi and my spanking new Dell...I can  now do things online that I couldn't be bothered to do before. Like, me, blog?

Yeah...me. Hah!