Thursday 27 September 2012

ZIZAN: A FAMILY STORY

Dear Zizan, 

      We are a bunch of happy people who met each other because of you. You make us happy, and then we meet each other and share the love among us daily. Miraculously today, you decided to join in the fun. And today, we are a  Big Happy Zizan Family because Zizan is actually present. Yayyy! 

 You are one of the nicest human beings on earth, surely not perfect, because nobody is. But if you make that many people happy, there surely has to be something extraordinary about you. It's a gift from Allah. Take care of this gift and life will take care of you. May more blessings come your way and if ever you go through tough times, know that our prayers are always with you.
 Love, Your Family.

ps: The Family...macam Godfather pulak...hahaha

It started with this:


Then this...



and.....(pass me the handkerchief)



And banyak lagi lah...wah beronok-ronok we alls ye hari nie. Esok nak tengok Lawak Ke Der2 and Sunday Hantu Kapcai again with Ain...yayyy...jommm

Wednesday 26 September 2012

TQ ZIZAN

Salam semua...sorry malam tadi agak huru-hara kerana APA YANG TERJADI...selepas tengok Zizan potong ikan dalam Jejak Jepun Bersama Zizan, saya pun dah zzzzz....then I checked my phone and saw Yani's message, "Akak, at this moment Zizan tweet akak!"  Oh apakah? Benarkah? jkggdewgfgfjgufquqfg...


Lepas tu banyak la pulak tanya dan komen tapi sorry semalam saya pun agak terbalik atas apa yang berlaku. Anyway, I'd like to explain that Melati tried to crop and print out as many tweets and profiles as she could. (ps: pls like Melati's page Hot News Berita Terkini Zizan Razak >>klik http://www.facebook.com/HotNewsBeritaTerkiniZizanRazak She didn't sleep all night, bless her and the next day, she passed me her masterpiece. I didn't have the time to snap all the photos, but there were many names including @aunirozmi@nuraida, @fiza zizanner, @intan_zizan & byk lagi...anyway it was just one way to send Zizan all your messages since we were going the Hantu Kapcai preview. Another thing, we thought it would be nice for Zizan to read all your advice and kind wishes for him, so that he knows how much he is loved by people who never even met him. 






But I'd just like to say though that when we love an artiste, it's just for fun. Just to forget your stress and problems, and at the same time we make new friends, right? We don't have any other motives or what and another thing, minat tu seadanya je lah, jangan sampai marah ke merajuk ke apa coz artis tak layan kita...Dia pun naik juling tau tengok kita punya tweet tau (itu baru kita hahaha). After all, ini sekadar hiburan dan nak happy-happy, kalau nak sedih-sedih baik korang tengok slot Akasia macam kata Nabil...hahaha...Sebenarnya kitorang ni geng syok sendiri je, sbb tu I really adore Hanis. Dia kan, ada orang ke takde orang dia sembang je sesorang...so sweet..LOL

PS: Hari ni tayangan pembukaan Hantu Kapcai (27 Sept) OMG nerves la pulak...Ghaz Abu Bakar tu sgt sempoi orgnya...doakan murah rezeki dia & Hantu Kapcai dapat pecah panggung sampai tinggal tiang okay...hahaha

HANTU KAPCAI PREVIEW: A ROMBONGAN CIK NEEDA STORY

Salam, sorry everyone for taking so long. And last nite I couldn't do any live tweeting because my battery went dead. Probably because I snapped so many photos of You-Know-Who LOL.

 

Anyway, I was about to go jogging on Friday evening when Mel rang me up and most frantically told me that there was a Hantu Kapcai Preview ticket-giveaway-contest on the Hantu Kapcai Facebook page. She said they'd just posted it, so if I joined right then, I was sure to win. Well, win I did! Yayyy...I won 2 tickets and so did Mel, but since she couldn't go, I had 4 passes in my hands. Yani's in Brunei...waaaa...so of course the next name on my list is Ain. I really wanted the other two tix to go to one of us aka a Zizan Family member (that's our new name...haha) or at least a Jozanner. But it's on Tuesday, and everyone's either busy or too far away.

Anyway my ex-student Hadi (who just got back from the US) was all too willing to tag along and he lured his old 'sparring partner' Zati into driving us there. Zati, btw, is the most amazing driver and we got to the Cathay Cineleisure@Curve in no time. 

To cut a long story short, by 8.15 the stars started arriving. I must that Ain has very good 'radar' abilities because she spotted Zizan the second he arrived. Hahaha...cayalah Ain! I really didn't notice him at all, coz the crowd seemed to swallow his tiny frame :)

We did a 100m sprint ala Usain Bolt and was right in front of Zizan in no time. Hahaha. I was determined to pass him something that Mel made. I told her earlier that our family members had so many messages to relay to Zizan. She said she'd figure something out and -tadaaa- she created 'This is Our Story'...a scrapbook of your tweets and profiles. I was really in a rush on Tuesday and couldn't snap photos of all the pages. But rest assured that all the Usual Suspects ie @nurRashid, @afqJZ, @hanishayden, @aunirozmi, @miss_syahbanu, @ainie86, and many others are in there. Oh you too @adyanny!!!

I waited a long time to pass it to Zizan by hand, but there were so many reporters and I didn't want to disturb him doing his job. Coz that's him working...while to us it's just entertainment. Anyway, I must say he's one of the nicest human beings on earth and after the endless stream of reporters he patiently said "Bolehhhhh" to all the fans who wanted to snap photos with/of him. BTW, during the interviews coz I was right in front of him, he would say "Betul tak?" or "Teruk kan dia ni?" to me (as in he's teasing the reporters lah). But this was very unexpected and made me lose my focus on taking his photo...hahaha

Okay so finally it was almost show time, so I passed the gift over to Marina Juki, his manager. I told her to please pass it to him coz Mel spent all night doing it and she smiled ever so warmly and said okay. 

Then I coincidentally passed Zizan at the door, and I told him, "Kami semua ada hadiah utk Zizan, nanti ambik dekat Marina ye.  Ni sbb dorg semua sayang sgt kat Zizan sampai tak tido malam." 

Zizan laughed and said, "Ye ke, saya terharulah macam ni, bagitau dorg terima kasih banyak2 ye".

Anyway, please please please don't expect any miracles to happen like he's going to your house tomorrow or what. Doakan la the album did get into his hands, mana la tau, kalut-kalut, ramai-ramai, tertinggal ke apa (harapnya tidak la). Tapi kata Zizan, "Sebelum kecundang, kita mesti berusaha". Jadi Mels & I dah berusaha utk ualls okay...hehe...itu aje yg termampu, apa pun kita minat dia utk seronok-seronok, jadi jangan la kita nak merajuk ke, nak marah dia ke apa sedangkan dia pun tak bersalah apa-apa. Fans dia memang ramai, respek kat dia kalau saya sendiri rasanya dah cabut...till then, tata :)

PS: this afternoon Zizan RT Mel's message...adakah? mmm tak tau lahhhh...hahaha

 

Tuesday 18 September 2012

ZIZANITIS

Okay so penyakit Zizanitis tak habis lagi....hehe...Kisahnya pagi ni saya baru habis mengamuk dekat tempat kerja...haihhh letih la macam ni.

Tetiba masa waktu rehat fon berbunyi-bunyi tak henti...mcm kata Miss Banu, 'apa yang terjadi!!!???"...rupanya Zizan online....hehe and dia telah RT tweet yg saya hantar pagi tadi...oh yeah....ini Sejarah Tanah Melayu bab berapa pun tak tau la....

Anyway nak welcome NurAida Tajudin sorang kawan baru yang jumpa pagi tadi kat twitter @MawarRedd anak buah saya...baru cakap Zizan tak perasan terus dia reply...hehe



FYI,  @MawarRedd atau Melati Desa (tak taulah kenapa tradisional benor la pulak nama budak sorang ni...hehe)  nama fb dia ni cuti semester 3 bulan...so saya suruh la dia buat page ni...sesiapa yg belum 'like' sila la singgah kat page ni...rajin si budak Melati update tiap2 hari...I love u kid...hehe


Anyway dengan mengamuk dan Zizanitis yang melanda...rasa nak pegi cari air sjuk kejap sebelum tergolek....sayonara, see you all tonite and don't forget to trend #jejakjepunbersamazizan (start dalam pukul 8.15 ke) sambil menonton...mwahhhh love you all :)

Sunday 16 September 2012

BANGKOK 2010

   Little Auni suggested that I change the name of my blog to something Zizan-esque coz I'm always writing about Zizan. But I started this blog because my thoughts were a-wandering. Hence the name 'wanderingthots'. And my do they wander a lot lately!!!


   This post is about my trip to Bangkok in 2010. But since Zizan is a recurring theme, his name shall appear anyway...Trust me, it's all related! Semuanya ada sangkut-paut hehehe....

   Okay sabar la dengan kisah yg agak bersimpang-siur ini. Early in the year I was miserable and overworked. Bukan sekadar berkorban dengan kerjaya tapi rasa macam nak terkorban dah. I was given a project with 2 other people. Kisahnya these two people memang hampeh & tak bekerjasama langsung.   I really wanted things to work out and spent my own money and time on this project. I did get the result I wanted but I still feel it wasn't worthed. Yes, I do believe that 'Kerja kerana Allah dan bukan manusia, maka kita takkan kecewa'. True, true. But I can't believe how some people can be so irresponsible!

  Now balik pada Zizan tadi. At that time I prayed a lot and it helped but if I didn't think about the economy, I would have quit my job. I went home late and tired and thought about work again at home. Watched tv and changed the channel like Harith Iskandar said, 411, 412, 413, 481 etc but nothing was fun. Then my bro turned on Super Spontan. I remember that skinny boy Zizan from Raja Lawak 1. Wah dah handsome Zizan sekarang and I never realized he was so funny! After that, I decided rather than think about those idiots baik I focus on Zizan mwahahaha. So! Zizanitis is the best cure for job stress!
   
  Okay now Bangkok. When I went there, the Red Shirts demonstrations were just beginning. My mum wasn't happy to let me go but I was crying my eyes out coz I made plans already. Waa kenapa time aku nak pegi dorang buat hal!! But I had a friend there and he said it was safe at that moment and he would be there if anything happened.

   The first day I arrived was also the first day of the demos. My friend asked, "Nak tengok demo?" and I said yes. I wasn't scared coz he and other friends were there. Anyway sampai sana, it was like a pasar malam. Everyone was happy and there were a few Muslim Red Shirts yang pakai tudung lagi. My friend said that it's always safe in the beginning, but the trouble will start when the violent gangs arrive from outside of Bangkok. Siap ada orang jual roti canai...but Thai version.

  That was one of the best experiences of my life. Anyway there I realized how hard it was to earn a living. The young guy in the pic is Choke. He travelled all the way from Chiangmai to get a job. He's studying for his PhD and guess what his job is? Bell boy!!! And look in the picture...see how those old folks still have to earn a living? Kat sini pasti dah pencen dan main dengan cucu...Anyway I stayed at New World Hotel which is owned by a Muslim. The food is halal so takde was-was. If you go to Bangkok do stay there! Pad Thai sedap sesangat...!

   So whenever I feel that my job is a lost cause, I think about Choke and the many other Muslim Thais who work at that hotel. Bersyukurlah Needa oii!!! Anyway, see how it's all related...lousy job situation, Bangkok and Zizan.... til next time :)


Saturday 15 September 2012

LABOUR OF LOVE

   Salam all...Apparently Zizan is like a virus infecting my blog. As Yani would say, my blog has Zizanititis!!! Okay so today's topic still has Zizan elements in it...but it's more about a 'labour of love'. Was reading about KRU's failed 29 Februari venture and how Norman Halim hopes Hantu Kapcai (in other words, Zizan lah) will save the company. Kesian KRU, they spent millions but 29 Februari has only made around RM350,00 so far...less than Baik Giler which is terrible even though it has Zizan in it. Check out the Hantu Kapcai fanpage:
Excerpt from the article: After the huge disappointment regarding Malaysia's first 3D stereoscopic film "29 Februari" in the local box office, KRU Studios' Executive President, Norman Abdul Halim, is now putting all his hopes on Ghaz Abu Bakar's directorial debut, "Hantu Kapcai". "Well, I didn't really expect that our first stereoscopic 3D film, "29 Februari", to achieve such poor results. We were banking on the film's patriotic theme and 3D effects to pull in audiences for its Merdeka release date. Maybe that was why it flopped. We had too high expectations for it. It is disappointing for us so I hope "Hantu Kapcai" will bring back our revenue through the box office," said Norman.




Zizan's Crazy Press Conference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qx9iEUsT2L4



  Two things to be learnt here...if you really have a passion for something, you'll be willing to devote all your time, effort and money into it. But it's a risk. After all your struggles...it may all end in failure.
But like Zizan says, " Sebelum kecundang, kita usaha dulu". Kan Yani? At least you've tried to achieve something great, rather than do nothing.
  Me? I chose a job that's safe. There's something to love and loathe at the same time...but I'm grateful for Allah's bounty. Alhamdulillah :) Anyway, I really hope Hantu Kapcai will be a hit for both KRU and Zizan...tinggi harapan tu...kalau saya dah tergolek...hehe

Thursday 13 September 2012

SESI PENGSAN BERSAMA CIK BANU

   Oleh kerana hari ni ter-pengsan kejap, maka blog post ni dlm Bahasa Melayu...haha...Di petang hari, tengah syok bertweet-tweet dengan Cik Banu kita, tetiba ternampak kelibat tweet Handsome Comedian aka Space Filler kesayanganku Zizan Razak. Tak tahulah apa sebenarnya yang terjadi tetibe mendapat reply dari Zizan...hehe...semalam dia reply dua abjad, hari ni dua perkataan...wah ada kemajuan dan pastinya menjadi Sejarah Tanah Melayu buat kali kedua. FYI, bukan le kami ni takde life. Terlebih-lebih lifenya kalau sibuk bekerja. Saja je nak menghiburkan hati supaya tak stress, kan Cik Banu kan? Lagipun Afdlin Shauki ada kata, 'Inilah akibatnya ada telefon canggih'. Dulu zaman pakai 3310 takde tweet2 punya... Apapun, 'pusing-pusing kepala nanti hidup sengsara'...happy-happylah... :) :) :)

Tuesday 11 September 2012

SENYUM...SABAR SAJALAH :)

A little girl tweeted me the link to cute 'lil song. Sabar Sajalah by Firdaus featuring Zizan Razak (okay so I'm biased ;), Cat Farish and Bee.Ru. It's now officially my new life anthem.

Listen to Sabar Sajalah:
http://soundcloud.com/ahmadluqmaan/firdaus-sabar-sajalah-feat-cat?utm_source=soundcloud&utm_campaign=mshare&utm_medium=twitter&utm_content=http://soundcloud.com/ahmadluqmaan/firdaus-sabar-sajalah-feat-cat

Life sometimes sucks but basically it's the most wonderful thing you have. Everything comes from Allah and to Him we shall return.

In the US, you can pay a therapist to listen to your problems if you have no one else to turn to. My friend recently asked where she could find a therapist. So I told her, why do you need to spend money on a therapist? Allah will always listen to you and His service is FREE. I said that without thinking. Now when I think back on what I said...eh bijaksana la pulak saya ni kadang-kadang...hehe

The song is self-explanatory. Apa-apa masalah dalam dunia pun dah diceritakan dalam lagu ni. Pastikan rileks, sabar sajalah...Pusing-pusing kepala bikin hidup sengsara...

Thank you Allah for giving me good health and good friends...even in the virtual world I've met wonderful people like Miss Banu (yg postnya selalu buat saya ceria), my beloved sis Adyanny and also Ain. And not to mention that boy Zizan Razak...even though I don't know him personally, he never fails to make me smile. This song is for you guys!!!

SABAR SAJALAH
Semua orang punya masalah
Datang dan pergi cari wang bagai nak gila
Masuk dan pergi perangai manusia ada ada saja
Baik yang miskin kaya mahupun sederhana
Pastikan rileks sabar sajalah
Pastikan rileks sabar sajalah
Miskin kaya susah, kaya miskin susah
Sabar sajalah
Pusing pusing kepala bikin hidup sengsara
Sabar sajalah
Siang cerah pergi kerja
Malam belum rehat juga
Semua kita nak hidup selesa
Layan-layan senyum saja barulah ceria
Kiri-kiri kanan-kanan mengejar dunia
Kita manusia pasti harungi gelora
Tak lupa mama abah masih ada
Bagi sikat masa ubah nasib keluarga
Pastikan rileks sabar sajalah
Pastikan rileks sabar sajalah
Miskin kaya susah, kaya miskin susah
Sabar sajalah
Pusing pusing kepala bikin hidup sengsara
Sabar sajalah
Celik mata harung benda yang sama (benda yang sama)
Temu jalan sesak uu sesaknya minda
Mungkin kita lupa sentiasa kita lupa
Asal dari kita semua cerita
Memang benar bagai dikata
Semua yang durjana datangnya dari kita manusia
Kita hanya insan biasa
Yang bezakan kita akal ilmu didada
Janganlah goyang marilah sayang
Ayuh berpegangan eratkan hubungan
Hidup di dunia memanglah sementara
Jangan sia-siakan yang kiri-kanan kita
Pastikan rileks sabar sajalah
Pastikan rileks sabar sajalah
Miskin kaya susah, kaya miskin susah
Sabar sajalah
Pusing pusing kepala bikin hidup sengsara
Sabar sajalah
Bila difikirkan apa yang dipinta
Segalanya takkan datang dengan percuma
Gagal terima apa yang di hiba
Berdoalah bersyukurlah senyum seadanya
{rap}
Pastikan rileks sabar sajalah
Pastikan rileks sabar sajalah
Miskin kaya susah, kaya miskin susah
Sabar sajalah
Pusing pusing kepala bikin hidup sengsara
Sabar sajalah
Pastikan rileks sabar sajalah
Pastikan rileks sabar sajalah
Miskin kaya susah, kaya miskin susah
Sabar sajalah
Pusing pusing kepala bikin hidup sengsara
Sabar sajalah
ps: malam ni JEJAK JEPUN BERSAMA ZIZAN...ASTRO PRIMA 9PM...DON'T FORGET!!!

Saturday 8 September 2012

JOM TENGOK LAWAK KE DER 2

Can't wait to watch Lawak Ke Der 2 at Istana Budaya!!! After much hassle, I finally got my tickets online. At first there was trouble with the wifi. Had to call up the silly wifi careline people 5 times to fix the signal. Then I couldn't get through to maybank2u. Anyway I finally got the booking done this afternoon. Yayyy! I'm super stoked to see JOZAN live on stage!!! Plus it will be my first time going to Istana Budaya. 



I'm feeling generous, so here are the showtimes:

Friday, September 28, 2012 8:30 PM
Saturday, September 29, 2012 3:00 PM
Saturday, September 29, 2012 8:30 PM
Sunday, September 30, 2012 3:00 PM
Sunday, September 30, 2012 8:30 PM
Monday, October 01, 2012 8:30 PM
Tuesday, October 02, 2012 8:30 PM
Wednesday, October 03, 2012 8:30 PM

***Jozan will perform on all shows


The last time I saw a play was A Midsummer Night's Dream by Instant Cafe Theater. Wujud lagi ke Instant Cafe tu? Masa tu time sekolah kot...hehe. Demi Jozan, IB here I come. Anyway I haven't seen anything in the papers highlighting Lawak Ke Der 2. Maybe Hans Isaac hasn't gotten round to it.

So, those who'd like to see the show can just go straight to the Ticket2U website. I couldn't find any info anywhere else, or maybe I didn't look hard enough. Just click:

http://ticket2u.biz/


You have to click "Buy Ticket" to read the info. The "Read More" thing is useless, coz there's nothing to read. I was wondering when Jozan would perform, but it says on the site that ALL 4 acts will be performing on every show.

Well, what are you waiting for? Let's head to IB to 'see the hidung Jozan' as Nabil would say ;)



Thursday 6 September 2012

ALL HAIL ZIZAN RAZAK, PRESERVER OF SANITY

After more than 5 years at this present job, I'm starting to get restless. I want to see people who aren't students and fellow cikgus too. Not that I'm not thankful for the job that I already have, but my thoughts they are a-wandering. I need a diversion!!!!! Right now, my Handsome Comedian will have to do as Diversion No1.

Anyway, I'm stoked because my space filler (as my dear sis Yani would say) Zizan Razak has a new show coming out. Watch it people!!! The Astro peeps say that if this show gets good ratings, they'll send Zizan off on another adventure. Yayyy...then I have another Zizan show to look forward to :) :) :)



Check out the trailers:

Extended trailer.....cute factor 900%
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uucayYPT72k

trailer...love the duckwalk!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsbXUaxhD44

message from Zizan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLGFMa992SI&feature=related

Zizan and Jojo Struys
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lc3lEu9jbIw&feature=related

Plus, he confirms that he & Johan will be on Maharaja Lawak Mega 2012. I love them both, but I hate these vote-in shows. I'll probably get more nervous than Jozan themselves. No matter lah, as long as they'll be on tv for weeks (and the reruns will last forever).

Read about Jejak Jepun Bersama Zizan, & Jozan on MLM2012:
http://www.bharian.com.my/bharian/articles/IsyarattanganpenyelamatZizan/Article

And! Vote for Zizan, Hantu Bonceng and Ahmad Idham for Anugerah Blockbuster at :
http://www.astrogempak.com.my/anugerahblockbuster/Kategori.aspx?categoryid=8&auth=true


Okay, so maybe mine isn't the most exciting life in the world. But I thank God that I still have a life, am still sane and haven't killed anyone yet. Thank you Zan for helping me preserve my sanity....hehehe... ;)

Monday 3 September 2012

MASA DEPAN TU BUKAN LAWAK LA DER!!!




The upside of being bilingual is you can switch languages as the mood suits you. I was raised in a bilingual environment coz my parents were products of an English-medium education system. I always thought that everybody could switch or mix languages in daily communication, like we did at home. Not true. 55 years of Merdeka and (almost) free education for all, and some people can't even translate Isnin into Monday. Not a surprise actually, coz some Malays can't even pass their BM paper, and it's not like they were raised in London. More like Lenggong!

There's a boy I teach who I think suffers from ADHD. Let' s just call him GM. Like most problem students he was never diagnosed, much less treated for this problem. He has the attention span of a fly, which is probably why he can't really read or write despite being in Form 4. He doesn't belong in the Commerce class where they chucked him with the rest of the illiterates and semi-illiterates. Boys like him can't focus on academic subjects. Teaching, correction, "minding" this class is like scraping nails on metal. Can you imagine that nasty screeching sound?

You can't really teach them anything. Basically your job is just to stop them from killing each other or other people.These kids usually skip school for long periods of time to work or just laze around at home. Then for some reason they come back to school and we pretend to teach them English Literature and Additional Science, even though they've been absent from school for so long that they've forgotten how to read. Since the learning is beyond them, they get bored. And when they get bored they get up to all sorts of mischief.

Anyway, back to GM. He isn't a rude boy. He's more of a clown than a KL Gangster-type. It's just that he is semi-illiterate and he can't possibly pass any examination. If you can barely read how can you write 350 word essays?

So! One day I was feeling unusually compassionate and teacher-like and decided to give him some career advice.

Me: GM, awak pergilah belajar kat Giatmara atau mana-mana pusat teknikal. Nanti awak boleh kerja.
GM: Dorang tak terima saya punya cikgu.
Me: Kenapa pulak?
GM: Sebab saya tak pernah ambik borang. Hehehe.
Me: (Ignoring the "joke") Pergi ambil borang lepas ni dan hantar. Masih sempat awak ambil  
        kursus tahun ni.
GM: Tapi mak saya suruh sekolah cikgu. Dia kata belajar tu penting.
Me: Tapi awak pergi sekolah tak belajar pun. Kan bagus pergi belajar kursus teknikal.
GM: Kalau saya pergi tempat tu nanti dia tak nak bukak pintu. Sebab muka saya takde ong.
Me: Kalau awak bising lagi nanti saya hantar sendiri depan pintu Giatmara tu. Awak tunggu 
       depan pintu tu sampai dia buka. 
GM: Taknak cikgu. Takpe cikgu nanti saya tak kacau orang, saya duduk diam-diam ye. 

End of conversation. Now if he causes havoc in the class, I just ask him, "Saya suruh tunggu di mana?" and he'll grin and shut up for 5 minutes before starting the next commotion.

One day he decided he wanted to be a comedian. Okay, fine, I said. Tell the class your joke. I have a soft spot for Zizan Razak. Maybe, just maybe GM could be the next Mael Lambong. Though I seriously doubted it.

After 5 minutes nobody laughed except GM himself. Lawak ke der? I asked the class and everyone burst out laughing. Apparently I have a better chance of being the next Raja Lawak than GM.

Anyway, these kids could learn a thing or two from Zizan. So maybe he didn't graduate from UM and can't speak English like William Arthur Philip Louis, Duke of Cambridge (Why should he anyway? Kita bukan merdeka ke?).

He worked hard to get to where he is today. I don't know what the future holds for him (better things, I hope) but I think he can be proud of what he's achieved so far.





So, to all the GMs of the world...find out what you're good at and work at it. Tell jokes, sing, cook, repair cars...for goodness sake LEARN TO DO SOMETHING!!!!!


Saturday 1 September 2012

Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of

<U2! I love you guys! Don't sue me!>

Listen to U2's Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyOaj3nv9H4&feature=fvst
Learn more about Schizophrenia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizophrenia



When I was in college, Z was my partner in crime. My sidekick. Well, one of my sidekicks coz I had a few. I'm no Miss Congeniality but I always had someone to skip class and go watch a movie or split a pizza with. I was lucky that way. Some people go through life feeling unwanted and friendless. But we'll talk about that later coz this post is about Z.

 Actually, we'd met much earlier in high school but she was in a different class. In one of my previous posts I wrote about having an opinionated dad. My mom is a different story. She's a Constant Worrier. My brother is almost 30 and she worries if he's had lunch. The cat passes by and she starts fretting if it stole the fish she bought this morning. I mean, the fish is in the fridge and as far as I know Paddy the Irish Rebel Cat hasn't learnt to open the fridge door yet, wily though he is.

Anyway, back to Z. She put up with all my idiosyncracies. Me, daughter of Mr-I-Think-Everybody-Is-Stupid and Mrs Constantly-Worrying-About-Everything. <I love my parents, don't get me wrong. But they are who they are and  I rant with affection ok> I must have been hell to put up with but she did it anyway. Sometimes she annoyed the s**t out of me because she followed me all over campus, especially when I wanted to stalk Taib Iskandar the Handsome Nerd at the library. I mean, there are just some things you do alone. LOL.

But the best thing she ever did for me, long before Eckhardt Tolle decided that planet earth needed an overhaul, was to teach me to live in the moment. I was born a worrier like my mom, but I never realized it til I met Z. Before an outing, I would worry about the bus. Would we be able to catch the bus on time to make the 3pm screening of The Matrix? I mean if I missed the first shot of Keanu Reeves I would just die. And what if the bus took a detour and we had to get off at an unfamiliar stop? How would we ever get to the cineplex?

Z would listen to all this and say; "Shut up and stop worrying!". Then I'd tell her, "But what if..." She'd cut me off and say "It hasn't happened. Why must you worry about things that haven't happened?" and add, "Why do you have to be miserable now when nothing bad has happened? You can be miserable all you want when disaster does strike."

Z was wise, though she didn't know it then. If she was more into literature, she'd probably say 'Carpe Diem!' <But she wasn't. She hated literary studies>

Gradually I realized that because of Z, I stopped worrying unnecessarily. I'm not all Zen now, but I don't spend hours contemplating 100 bad things that could happen before starting anything. I've learnt to 'chill' thanks to Z.

After college, we kept in touch and would even occasionally meet for coffee. (This was a record because I'm hopeless at keeping in touch with people). Then I got a new job and two years passed without any news from Z. Out of the blue, a mutual friend contacted me and said that she had bad news about Z.

I never thought that things would turn out this way for her.

Z to me always had a charmed life. She always had thousands of ringgit in the bank because her parents were well off. When the computer lab got too crowded, she bought a Compaq (much to my envy, coz I lived 100% on my scholarship) without asking for a cent less. I ate instant noodles coz I was broke. For Z, instant noodles was 'something different to eat' when she got bored with McDonald's.

So when I was told that Z had had a nervous breakdown, I was shocked. Why would she be depressed about anything? She has everything.

She did not return any of my calls or texts. Then one day she texted me. She'd been diagnozed with schizophrenia. Schizophrenia? Z?

"Pray for me coz I'll never be the same again. I hear voices telling me I'm worthless. I don't deserve to live. The drugs help drown the voices out. I hate them! But if I stop taking them I'll be in pain all day. I don't know how to describe the pain. You're lucky, you know. You're happy. That means you have everything."

Schizophrenia. It's not something you can cure with self-help books and positive thinking. I don't know what to say about this. There's nothing I can do about it, except pray and be there for her, though she rarely contacts me now. Once in a while she would text me, and it would always end with "Pray for me."

I do, Z. I do pray for you. There isn't anything else I can do. The irony of it all is you were the one who freed me from my anxieties. I'm so sorry I can't do the same for you.

Z used to love U2. Actually, I think she really wasn't that much into them. I think she just liked what I liked ;)
These lines by U2 will always remind me of what Z taught me:


"And you are such a fool
To worry like you do
I know it's tough, and you can never get enough
Of what you don't really need now ... my oh my 

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment and you can't get out of it
Oh love look at you now
You've got yourself stuck in a moment and you can't get out of it 
I never thought you were a fool
But darling, look at you
You gotta stand up straight, carry your own weight
These tears are going nowhere, baby "
   But that's exacly what schizophrenia is, isn't it? Being stuck in a moment you can't get out of. I complain all day about my job, my weight, my lazy   slob siblings. Z always hits the nail right on the head, and always without    realizing it.
 "You're happy. You have everything."