The upside of being bilingual is you can switch languages as the mood suits you. I was raised in a bilingual environment coz my parents were products of an English-medium education system. I always thought that everybody could switch or mix languages in daily communication, like we did at home. Not true. 55 years of Merdeka and (almost) free education for all, and some people can't even translate Isnin into Monday. Not a surprise actually, coz some Malays can't even pass their BM paper, and it's not like they were raised in London. More like Lenggong!
There's a boy I teach who I think suffers from ADHD. Let' s just call him GM. Like most problem students he was never diagnosed, much less treated for this problem. He has the attention span of a fly, which is probably why he can't really read or write despite being in Form 4. He doesn't belong in the Commerce class where they chucked him with the rest of the illiterates and semi-illiterates. Boys like him can't focus on academic subjects. Teaching, correction, "minding" this class is like scraping nails on metal. Can you imagine that nasty screeching sound?
You can't really teach them anything. Basically your job is just to stop them from killing each other or other people.These kids usually skip school for long periods of time to work or just laze around at home. Then for some reason they come back to school and we pretend to teach them English Literature and Additional Science, even though they've been absent from school for so long that they've forgotten how to read. Since the learning is beyond them, they get bored. And when they get bored they get up to all sorts of mischief.
Anyway, back to GM. He isn't a rude boy. He's more of a clown than a KL Gangster-type. It's just that he is semi-illiterate and he can't possibly pass any examination. If you can barely read how can you write 350 word essays?
So! One day I was feeling unusually compassionate and teacher-like and decided to give him some career advice.
Me: GM, awak pergilah belajar kat Giatmara atau mana-mana pusat teknikal. Nanti awak boleh kerja.
GM: Dorang tak terima saya punya cikgu.
Me: Kenapa pulak?
GM: Sebab saya tak pernah ambik borang. Hehehe.
Me: (Ignoring the "joke") Pergi ambil borang lepas ni dan hantar. Masih sempat awak ambil
kursus tahun ni.
GM: Tapi mak saya suruh sekolah cikgu. Dia kata belajar tu penting.
Me: Tapi awak pergi sekolah tak belajar pun. Kan bagus pergi belajar kursus teknikal.
GM: Kalau saya pergi tempat tu nanti dia tak nak bukak pintu. Sebab muka saya takde ong.
Me: Kalau awak bising lagi nanti saya hantar sendiri depan pintu Giatmara tu. Awak tunggu
depan pintu tu sampai dia buka.
GM: Taknak cikgu. Takpe cikgu nanti saya tak kacau orang, saya duduk diam-diam ye.
End of conversation. Now if he causes havoc in the class, I just ask him, "Saya suruh tunggu di mana?" and he'll grin and shut up for 5 minutes before starting the next commotion.
One day he decided he wanted to be a comedian. Okay, fine, I said. Tell the class your joke. I have a soft spot for Zizan Razak. Maybe, just maybe GM could be the next Mael Lambong. Though I seriously doubted it.
After 5 minutes nobody laughed except GM himself. Lawak ke der? I asked the class and everyone burst out laughing. Apparently I have a better chance of being the next Raja Lawak than GM.
Anyway, these kids could learn a thing or two from Zizan. So maybe he didn't graduate from UM and can't speak English like William Arthur Philip Louis, Duke of Cambridge (Why should he anyway? Kita bukan merdeka ke?).
He worked hard to get to where he is today. I don't know what the future holds for him (better things, I hope) but I think he can be proud of what he's achieved so far.
So, to all the GMs of the world...find out what you're good at and work at it. Tell jokes, sing, cook, repair cars...for goodness sake LEARN TO DO SOMETHING!!!!!
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